What I’ve heard about Jo Silvagni this week has deeply unsettled me. No reasonable person blames a mother for the crime committed by her adult son. Responsibility for such actions lies solely with the individual who committed them. However, when a serious crime like rape enters the public sphere, the behavior of those close to the offender inevitably comes under scrutiny.

There is no instruction manual for how a woman should act after her child is convicted of such a crime. Grief, shock, denial, and loyalty are human reactions. Yet, silence or public defensiveness can feel hurtful to survivors and to a society that expects accountability and empathy. What many people hope to see is not punishment of the parent, but acknowledgment of harm and compassion for victims.

In this case, what has disappointed me is not Jo Silvagni’s love for her son, which is understandable, but the perceived lack of public recognition of the seriousness of the crime. When influential figures speak, or choose not to, their actions send messages—intended or not.

Supporting your child and condemning violence are not mutually exclusive. In moments like these, empathy for victims matters just as much as private loyalty. That balance is difficult, but it is also necessary.